Updated on March 18, 2024
Trust Your Gut (Not Social Media Body Image Ideals)
Where does low-esteem comes from?
It's no secret that there are a lot of social media posts that sell messages to people which reinforce unrealistic body "ideals" designed to make us feel inadequate so they can sell us a product. If we know this, why is it that we still allow it to affect us?
I can only speak for myself. I've had body image issues since adolescence. I can remember people in my family commenting on my body as a young girl about how I'd gained weight and needed to be careful or I would get fat. Looking back I can see that I was going through puberty and my body was changing, but there was hardly anything wrong with me or my body.
As a child, I never thought about how my body looked. I was happy with what I could do with it, run, jump, swim, play sports and dance! It was never a cause of low self-esteem, sadness or frustration. I never thought twice about it.
Back then my self-image was much more along the lines of Body Neutrality. My self-worth had nothing to do with how my body looked. I wasn't worried about being attractive to men or if I had too much fat on my tummy. I had other self-worth issues but that's an article for another day!
It was only as I got older when the outside world, family, boyfriends, TV, films, music videos and magazines (no social media back then) told me I wasn't good enough.
After that, I spent my whole life, even now, struggling with my body image. The only times when I felt like my body was "ideal" were when I was working out and dieting to an extreme level, or when something bad had happened in my life that caused me to lose my appetite.
People around me would tell me how fit I looked and compliment me like never before. It was very confusing.
I would tell people that I was hungry all the time, and we would joke that it was the bad break-up diet or the crisis diet. As if going through difficult times is all worth it for the weight loss.
I still have that outside world bully in my head when I look in the mirror and see some fat on my belly.
I can tell myself I love my body all day long, but somewhere in the back of my head that bully is lurking around telling me it's not true, that unless I lose ten pounds, I'm still not good enough.
The truth is, that voice isn't mine. That voice is the outside world. I have been conditioned as have most of us to internalize it so the "beauty/health/fitness/wellness" industries can continue to profit from our low self-esteem. And the gaslight is that we think there's something wrong with us!
Mixed messages
We're bombarded with outside messages from social media, billboards and magazines, not to mention the people around you commenting on your body as if it were public domain. You'd have to be a hermit not to feel bad about your body when what you see in the mirror doesn't match the images on the screen or page.
The Body Positivity movement attempts to change how people see themselves. The message is to love and accept yourself as you are and embrace your curves as in the Dove and Knix ads (some say the movement has been hijacked for commercial use).
But with the Body Positivity movement also comes the pressure to always "be positive" about yourself. Toxic Positivity leads to repression of your negative emotions, which can in turn lead to eating disorders and other self-destructive coping mechanisms.
Why is it that people are still trying to use drugs like Ozympic to lose weight?? It's one thing for doctors to prescribe weight loss drugs to people who may have malfunctioning neurotransmitters. It's quite another for celebrities to use a drug designed for Diabetics to quickly shed pounds for a photo shoot.
While people are jumping on the Body Positivity, #bodygoals #fitlife #selflove bandwagon, images of ripped abs, Brazilian butt lifts and breast implants still pervade. “Fitspiration” is another mixed message that seems to promote exercise as an alternative to eating disorders, but can be just as harmful.
Article titled: What is ‘Fitspiration’, Anyways?
When there are so many mixed messages it's hardly surprising that eating disorders and Body Dysmorphia Disorder among young people are on the rise.
Research article title: Rising dysmorphia among adolescents: A cause for concern
Our attention and energy is pulled in so many different directions it's hard to look inward and find out what really matters.
What is healthy?
Living up to unrealistic body ideals isn't just an issue for the youth. People in their 40s, 50s and 60s grew up with the same conditioning and continue to pressure themselves to be a "bikini model" as a woman in her late 50s recently told me.
I have other clients who see celebrity fitness trainers online in photos showing off their abs and think that's what they should aspire to. They're disappointed when they don't get those results and then give up on themselves.
The images that we see on social media of personal trainers fitness models and other "fitness gurus" exposing their 6-pack abs, send the message that it's realistic and desirable for women to lose so much weight that their abdominal muscles should be revealed.
Of course there are many women who are naturally thin and don't necessarily have much fat, but for most women, it's normal to have a certain amount of belly fat.
For a woman to have six-pack abs, it requires less than 18 percent body fat which is both unnatural and unhealthy.
Female bodybuilders have to go on extremely restrictive diets while preparing for a competition. They reduce body fat to dangerous levels, which if prolonged for extended periods of time can have adverse health effects. Article: Severe Weight Loss Really Affects Female Bodybuilding The Cost of Dieting Down for Fitness Women.
They have to reload on calories after the competition to bring themselves back into a healthy Body Mass Index.
A Body Mass Index of less than 18 percent is considered by all authoritative bodies on the subject including(site Links).....to be unhealthy and yet, this is what we're sold as "healthy." The average woman becomes disillusioned about trying to be healthy because of all the confusion.
Myth busting "No Pain No Gain!" and the beauty revolution
Then they hear about Essentrics and want to try something different. Something that isn't about pushing yourself to the point of pain, dreading the next workout and coming up with excuses to skip it.
Because the "no pain, no gain" mentality is so ingrained in them they don't think Essentrics can work. The paradox of not wanting the punishment, but believing that's the only thing that works can paralyze some people. Until they see that what they actually need is a paradigm shift in their thinking.
The struggle is internal. They have to reprogram their minds to understand that taking care of their body doesn't have to be punishment and that they don't have to starve themselves to be healthy.
This is a lesson for me too.
As an Essentrics "fitness" instructor, I sometimes feel pressure to live up to an ideal that I see on Instagram. I've had to change my perspective on how I perceive my body. It's okay to have belly fat. It's okay to eat carbs and fats. It's okay to have desserts. We just have to follow the golden medium example of moderation and be connected with our inner selves.
This is what the Body Neutrality or Body Functionality movement tries to promote. It's focused more on how you feel as opposed to how you look. But again the golden medium is the sweet spot.
How we look and feel in our clothes is important to how we feel about ourselves. Being able to appreciate our beauty has a positive effect internally, not just emotionally, but on our physical health and well-being.
Research review: Body functionality: A review of the literature
The issue is, that what constitutes beauty has been dictated to us. What about creating your own definition of beauty? Wouldn't that be a revolutionary act?
The second brain - your gut!
That brings me back to your gut, and I don't mean your six-pack abs!
Your gut knows. It's actually a second brain that stores energy and information and can tell you the truth.
Article: Think Twice: How the Gut's "Second Brain" Influences Mood and Well-Being
In Chinese medicine the lower abdomen is where our Qi (life force energy, pronounced Chi) is cultivated and stored. It's considered the centre and should be round and full, like the Earth, not flat and deflated like a flat tire. We see a perfect example of this with pregnant women. They're carrying life inside their bodies and their beauty emanates from their centres.
The outside world, whether it be advertisers trying to sell products, or a boyfriend who has his own conditioning about how your appearance reflects his self-worth, cannot know better than your own gut what's best for you.
Maybe instead of aspiring to reduce your gut to its bare bones or at least the sheath of muscle covering your intestines, you can see your abs as the centre of your being, the Earth inside your body, and the belly fat as natural and healthy.
Throughout history this fat is what has kept us alive in lean times. It's not something to be hated and shamed.
It's also not to be taken for granted. The more we connect internally, the more we can know how much is too much and how much is enough.
These three things can help us come back to ourselves:
- 1. Body Neutrality- appreciating your body as your soul's life partner, the vehicle that allows us to experience this life
- 2. The Golden Medium- the sweet spot between too much and not enough (food, exercise alcohol, sex, work etc.)
- 3. Trusting Your Gut- It knows what's best for you
These are the ways we can align with our best selves, best lives, and best practices. The more we can connect internally (which in my humble opinion, Essentrics and other movement modalities like Qigong help us to do) the clearer our inner guide will become.
Trust your gut and take a break from social media. When you come back you'll know what's true and what isn't. If you still want to have a six-pack go for it, but understand that if it interferes with your life and what you enjoy in life, and if you become obsessive about food and exercise, do that gut check if you still have enough energy left! 😂🙏
P.S. One thing I find quite encouraging is how free and uninhibited the younger generation is. I see young women of all body types shapes, sizes and colours wearing crop tops, showing off their bellies big and small. I'm still not free enough to do that myself, but it shows that things are changing. These young women are not worried about fitting into the so-called "ideal body type." They're changing the world!